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Offline Noach  
#1 Posted : Friday, April 29, 2011 9:49:41 AM(UTC)
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Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' A mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Well, now, Muldoon. Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?'

Offline Richard  
#2 Posted : Friday, April 29, 2011 10:31:37 AM(UTC)
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That's funny. Thanks!
Offline FredSnell  
#3 Posted : Wednesday, June 15, 2011 2:42:27 AM(UTC)
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Okay, since all of you are that interested in my funny story just before Shabuwa, I guess I'll tell it...lol. Whether you are or aren't, here she comes anyhow. I'll call him Bob, since it's his name for real. His own story according to him started in 1976 when he attended what sounded to me when he told me, was his first time attending a Universal Church that his now present wife had been going to. She drug him and his two kids along with her two, that the both had brought to their marriage. So I assumed the two had gone through something in a previous marriage. I didn't ask him. Anyway, he tells me this was his first time to go with her. Well Bob didn't know they had arrived late in the sermon and it was wrapping up, until they entered the building. The preacher recognizing Bobs wife, and knew she was trying to get Bob there for some time now. The preacher according to Bob started talking about how he, the preacher felt there was someone in attendance that needed to call upon Jesus and be saved by baptism. Bob says he sat and listened until something came over him, and he told me, he jumped into the air when the preacher says, "are you out there." Bob runs down front, all the way from the back since being late. He shouts, "It's me, I need it."
Before the service with Bob was over, the preacher ended up baptising Bob along with his two children who had also heard the preacher's call. Bob told me, which I know nothing off, they started shouting in tongues and Bob and his children did also. I guess telling me that he was engulfed by, well I'll leave that right there. Anyhow, Bob continues telling me his adventures with, the older Olsteen, "(1st name slips my mind), Kenneth Copeland and Joyce Meyers and how he had helped them building churches and he continually citing Pauls words mixed into his story. Well every time he would mention Paul, I would click my eye like a shutter. After about the 4th time he stops and ask me if somethings wrong. I told him, "yes there is." I told his I was turning him off everytime he mentions Paul...just like a radio...He could not understand how someone can not love Pauls adventures...lol. That I needed the "holy ghost." Now this 70yr old man has hands like bananas. I was standing at my shop door when he makes a move towards me, banana hands extended towards my shoulders thinking I was just going to stand there and let what was about to befall me, just let it happen. Well to his surprise, i jumped backwards against the shop door with my hands up like I was defending myself, and told him, "oh no you don't" If anyone puts their hands on me without mine or my Fathers permission, they had best be careful. He got that message quick just seeing it in my face. And the main reason is bc a while back now, my wife and I decided one day after our studies, lets baptise each other in our own bathtub. We huddled together with the Spirit of our Father present and did it. I can tell all of you, this was just so right to us. We felt it!..With my hand over my heart, as soon as I emerged and dried off, the phone rings. It was one of my sons on the other end announcing to his mother and I, we were going to be grandparents. I couldn't believe it. Father was sending us a gift of new life, not only to us I felt, but to my own son too, who by the way, through our efforts of walking in His good and proper name, they too are now searching out our Father in Heaven. They have dropped the Sunday illusion and are starting the journey of discovery.
Well there was alot more to, "banana hands," but for the most part, I just tuned him out after hearing some of those names I wrote above. He had to in the end, now listen to me. And he got both barrels...Haven't heard back yet. I directed him to certain places where he could find the actual truth. Will he go? I have my doubts.
That's the story summarized. I need a camera crew following me around bc I find people to be so funny, and they give me the biggest laughs hearing them. I thank Father for opening my eyes and thank Him for all His help.
Offline tagim  
#4 Posted : Wednesday, June 15, 2011 4:55:07 AM(UTC)
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Great stuff, encounterHim; you write the book. Loved the story. I can see he was milliseconds from a mule kick and you probably felt a little cheated. I would. Thanks a bunch, friend. Any more updates on the girl in the truck crash? Still praying for her and Walt.
Offline Richard  
#5 Posted : Wednesday, June 15, 2011 1:17:59 PM(UTC)
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I am amazed at how quickly Christians will lay their hands on someone else without first obtaining permission. Even their messenger from Satan tells them not to do that! But it has happened to me more than once (I considered myself a Christian at those times), but I won't let it happen again. Now that I know who controls the Christians, that it is Yahowah's enemy and not Yahowah Himself, to have one of them touch me in the name of their god just creeps me out.
Offline FredSnell  
#6 Posted : Wednesday, June 15, 2011 2:02:12 PM(UTC)
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tagim wrote:
Great stuff, encounterHim; you write the book. Loved the story. I can see he was milliseconds from a mule kick and you probably felt a little cheated. I would. Thanks a bunch, friend. Any more updates on the girl in the truck crash? Still praying for her and Walt.


Thank you brother. Yea these old oil hands from the field know me pretty well you might say. Believe it brother, I used you in one of my conversations today. I was telling my wife's brother about your condition and how you have recently extended a hand to Father (snip.) I love you man..brother, I think you are wonderful. Well, he could hardly believe it, and he's a really good person, but tough as nails guy. He couldn't hardly believe it and I mean that! I was almost at the point where I was going to call up the forum for him to read it for himself. I wanted him to realize we should have a love for Father that rises above our own feelings. Our desires are to please Him, and in those, we let others know of the gratitude we all feel through His loving us back. Now I can't know if others have experiences like I do, but honestly, I know he reciprocates. I feel His presence everywhere. And I'm not saying like every leaf that's blowing across my lawn, it's Him. What I feel, are actual feelings we have all experienced. They are those that just seem right in your mind, in your soul and heart. When you feel that, you feel peace, and if that feeling hits you like it does me at times, it parlays right to the person you are speaking to. It's how I know when two are gathered, He's there. Now I don't scare ppl with that when I'm talking with them, bc frankly, that is scary at least it would have been to me back then in the day. I just let, like the phrase says, "that little light shine." And you know, there are times when it just flys by. My wife tells me alot of times, do you know how long you were out there talking? She knows what I am talking about out there when she's probably needing me in here. She knows Fathers first, just as He is with her, and she would never ask me to do else.
His desires are our desires and it's why I bring your experience up to ppl at times. I just love that a man your age would put Fathers desires ahead of his own comfort..Really dude, I just want to cry thinking of it. I pray Father looks over you and comforts you. It will be my dearest desire I ask of Him today. Get well my friend and brother, you deserve it.

P.S. I haven't heard anything on Felicia lately and I hope it is bc the ppl I have spoken with her about, are on vacation still. They did tell me they were leaving after a carpenters job was finished, so I'm holding out hope they are not too perturbed with me wanting to kill Paul...lol..literally speaking. I read into Kays last note to me, that she might be out of trouble as far as life threatening. I pray she is. I have watched her efforts on YT at times and know right where her and her family's heart are. If I hear anything new, and I will inquire real soon, I'll keep everyone updated on her condition.

P.S.S. Hello brother Richard. I saw him coming at least you might say. I was laughing telling my wife it looked like Lurch, from The Addams Family. In a way it would have been better, bc Bob had a zeal to run his mouth non stop and Lurch barely spoke..lol. Hey, you know what you call a guy in the water with no hands, no legs...you call him, Bob....lol.

Shalom brothers.
Offline tagim  
#7 Posted : Thursday, June 16, 2011 11:55:32 AM(UTC)
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encounterHim, embarrassed by your praise; thank you. well, I have finished 40 sessions of radiation therapy instead of chemo, and now i have to wait four months before i will know if the cancer has been irradiated. my strength should improve during these months; the radiation zaps strength. all that is over and now i should grow stronger and await the results. i am very positive about all the treatment received. thank you all for your kinds words of encouragement.
Offline FredSnell  
#8 Posted : Friday, June 17, 2011 2:36:39 AM(UTC)
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No Sir, no reason to be embarrassed, I gather strength from folks like you and your journey. If everyone sat quite and never gave what they have gleaned ( thank you ,Yada), we'd be in piss poor shape as a community. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Get well soon!
Offline FredSnell  
#9 Posted : Monday, August 1, 2011 3:51:53 AM(UTC)
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I don't know how thunderfoot sat there this long but it is pretty funny at the very end....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTSbfs32yCU


Luke 17:33 Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.
Luke 17:34 I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.
Luke 17:35 Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
Luke 17:36 Two men shall be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
Offline Richard  
#10 Posted : Monday, August 1, 2011 6:44:44 AM(UTC)
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Wow, Fred. I am about 10 minutes into that video, and I cannot believe this man's patience or the hateful spirits of those two women who think they represent "God". Hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time.
Offline FredSnell  
#11 Posted : Monday, August 1, 2011 12:13:04 PM(UTC)
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Hey brother. Really more heartbreaking in the end. Just knowing all sitting there arguing about nothing that matters when they should be asking, who's right. And that answer is, neither of 'em.
Offline cgb2  
#12 Posted : Friday, August 5, 2011 1:39:04 AM(UTC)
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Muslim culture meets German engineering
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q51hVC0Lgwg
Offline Richard  
#13 Posted : Friday, August 5, 2011 2:15:25 AM(UTC)
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That was outstanding. I might need one of those little cars because, you know, with great age comes great gas ...
Offline FredSnell  
#14 Posted : Saturday, August 6, 2011 5:04:10 AM(UTC)
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flintface wrote:
That was outstanding. I might need one of those little cars because, you know, with great age comes great gas ...


Are you talking of the age of our planet and all its natural gas, or, are you talking of your, plant it and its natural gas?...lol
Offline FredSnell  
#15 Posted : Thursday, August 18, 2011 4:16:58 AM(UTC)
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I have told myself to steer clear of politics and still get drawn into it bc I seem too not be able to accept where our country is heading. Some think we've arrived already, but this clip from the John Stewart Show, highlights quite well just why a decent guy like Ron Paul stands zero chance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EY5Ofcxjs0
Offline Richard  
#16 Posted : Thursday, August 18, 2011 8:49:35 AM(UTC)
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encounterHim wrote:
...I seem too not be able to accept where our country is heading.


Okay, my brother and friend, here's a question which might help you accept the cold, hard facts.

What have you seen that would indicate there is any hope at all for this nation (the USA) to not collapse in on itself sometime between today and 10 years from now? Anything? Any thing? Has there been a verifiable tendency towards greater honesty and openness among the country's political and military leaders? Have we renounced the banking cartels and gone back to the gold standard? Is there a steady surge of support for returning to Yahowah and His Towrah?

It's over, Fred. Done. Finito. Stick a fork in it. We're just waiting for Yahowah's timer to go off. Then all those who have put their trust in the American way will be brutalized by reality, and it won't be pretty.

So, I would suggest that you turn your back on hope for this nation and walk away from it just as certainly as you have walked away from man's other lies and fables. And let's focus our energies on getting to know our Father through His Towrah. The world will have to fend for itself; we are not of this world.

Love ya, man, but you still can't have my Scuttlebutt Homeport Blonde beer!

Edited by user Thursday, August 18, 2011 7:28:36 PM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Offline FredSnell  
#17 Posted : Friday, August 19, 2011 2:15:03 AM(UTC)
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No, I know I'm not getting involved in that mess again, but when the shop is full of rightwing conservatives and all that's on any of their minds is when they get the chance to vote these ppl from office, well sometimes even trying to stay out of it gets hard. Do I hold out for "hope?" Yes I do, for everyone I come across.
I had a guy break down in his truck over here yesterday. He was impressed that someone would stand in the hot Texas sun with him while he waited on a tow. I'll bet you can guess where our conversation headed. This guy knew nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, about anything. It's remarkable that ppl come up in life and have no opinion about anything. I could have seen it as a clean slate to work with, but this guy had movies and video games on his mind. I know why they call them, "programs."

Scuttlebut...lol. I'll bet most folks don't know that's a military term. I know you do, brother.
Offline Richard  
#18 Posted : Friday, August 19, 2011 4:06:09 AM(UTC)
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The brewery is right next to the naval station down there in Everett, so I'm pretty sure that's why they named it Scuttlebutt.

That is a good point about the word "program".
Offline Richard  
#19 Posted : Friday, August 19, 2011 4:21:58 AM(UTC)
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encounterHim wrote:
Do I hold out for "hope?" Yes I do, for everyone I come across.


That is not the hope to which I was referring. I was writing about the hope people seem to have that America will "return to God", the hope that the good old days of peace and prosperity will return again, that the American military will squash evil meanies everywhere, ensuring that our self-absorbed little lives will continue without interruption from the violently jealous fools in other countries. Such hope is just plain useless, because we know destruction is headed our way (and not ours only, but for the entire world). The rich - which some like to characterize on streaming talk radio shows as being those who are "productive" and thus deserving of honor and special tax breaks - and those who are not rich - which those same people like to characterize as being "unproductive" and therefore unworthy of life or its sustenance - in these United States of America will all go through the same wringer.

By the way, brother, I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that entertainers, sports figures, corporate executives and their ilk are considered to be "productive" when they are those who openly and proudly live lives of wantonness, waste, and luxury! Neither could Ya'acob, half-brother of Yahowsha', if I read his letter correctly. Anyway ...

My only hope about any of this is that my wife and I will be among those the Father removes to His safety before the avalanche of what's coming hits.
Offline FredSnell  
#20 Posted : Friday, August 19, 2011 12:28:30 PM(UTC)
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It's the hope I have though, besides, America will return to her hardcore worship of the, "Lord." They will put the Lord first in everything their twisted minds can come up with.. The Lords Sunday worship for all. All his celebrations of his conception to his death will be promoted far more vigorously, and those that don't are the enemy..
Well I've talked Yah into the ground today, in so many words. I can't sing His praises enough, bc if an idiot and dredge like me can promote His beneficial and healing message, then it can be done by anyone. I can't thank Him enough for waiting on me. Thank you, Yah, thank you, thank you! And thank you brother Richard, I love how you are willing and engaging in life. I feel it's His desire we all learn from one another and correct that which in in error with love and patience.
Offline FredSnell  
#21 Posted : Wednesday, October 12, 2011 2:56:19 AM(UTC)
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"This Is The Song Everybody Knows"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RJBd8zE48A
Offline Richard  
#22 Posted : Wednesday, October 12, 2011 3:16:21 AM(UTC)
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Where do you find this stuff?! "Give as you're led, it's between you and God. But we're trackin' it." Hilarious! Thanks for sharing! Made me spew coffee out of my nose.
Offline FredSnell  
#23 Posted : Sunday, October 16, 2011 8:51:33 AM(UTC)
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Offline festa123  
#24 Posted : Friday, October 28, 2011 2:07:57 AM(UTC)
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Thanks for sharing.
Offline shalom82  
#25 Posted : Friday, October 28, 2011 8:33:57 AM(UTC)
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halal ben shachar....seeing how weak the field is in the presidential race has decided to run. His slogan is "vote for satan: cut out the middle man!"
YHWH's ordinances are true, and righteous altogether.
Offline jatrom  
#26 Posted : Friday, October 28, 2011 6:16:06 PM(UTC)
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Here's some of my thoughts(maybe it's just a copy of something I've read somewhere):
Religion & Politics is just the opposite sides of the same coin. At the core they are exactly the same...coin. Both seeks to rule over people, manipulate people, feed off of people, exploit and use people for their own selfish benefits. Both uses the same tactics.
Politcal systems paints an imaginary picture of what physical stuff they will give or achieve for their followers in some future time - just be faithful and patient for long enough.
Religious systems paints, on the spiritual side an imaginary picture of what will await their followers 'on the other side' if they only patiently endures with them.
One exploits the 'here and now' while the other exploits the 'one day in the by-and-by'.
As a consequence, both's leaders usually recieves all the benefits, money, well-being, while their followers gives and gives and gives and patiently wait/act on empty promises and hopes that never transpires in anybody's lifetimes.
Meanwhile their is always a dynamic conversion/movement between the respective parties. People convert from republicans to democrats, from this party to that party, from Islam to Christianity, from Budhist to Moslem...and back again.Feeding, exchanging new ideas, introducing new consepts....evolving, merging, becoming one coin at the core.
Offline Richard  
#27 Posted : Saturday, October 29, 2011 10:41:03 PM(UTC)
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A valid observation, jatrom. Thanks.

I was just thinking about the title of this thread, "A Little Religious Humor". Since religion turns souls away from the Life that is in Yahowah, I cannot see where there is any humor there at all. I know, I am probably sounding like a real stick in the mud here, and I have to admit that I do crack up when I hear a truly outrageous joke, regardless of its subject matter. Still, though ... you know what I mean?
Offline James  
#28 Posted : Wednesday, November 2, 2011 3:28:34 AM(UTC)
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Don't take my word for it, Look it up.

“The truth is not for all men but only for those who seek it.” ― Ayn Rand
Offline Richard  
#29 Posted : Wednesday, November 2, 2011 6:53:42 AM(UTC)
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That is appalling. I was once thrown out of an AoG church. One of the associate pastors and a deacon came to the house and told my family that they were still welcome, though. Then they told my children that their daddy was a bad man. That is when I said in a very calm, measured tone of voice that they would be exercising wisdom by leaving right then. All of that was in response of my confession to the pastor of some crimes I had committed and would later serve time for. Such a loving family is the body of Jebus Christ and all its Pauline initiates!
Offline cgb2  
#30 Posted : Wednesday, November 2, 2011 7:44:29 AM(UTC)
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Sickening. Well at least they will no longer need to report as a member to their master the state under 501c3 corporation rules.
Offline FredSnell  
#31 Posted : Thursday, November 3, 2011 1:32:35 AM(UTC)
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at least the, p(b)astor's name fits with his association...this is nothing more than a public stoning.
Offline cgb2  
#32 Posted : Tuesday, November 8, 2011 7:16:39 AM(UTC)
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Cc: The Good, Clean Funnies List
Subject: [GCFL.net] Groaners: Three Prayers

Groaners: Three Prayers

1. Here's one direct from my son who at four years old had started attending a Christian daycare. The evening of his third day there, he insisted on saying "grace" at dinner.
This was his prayer:

"Gone is great! Gone is good!
Let us spank him for our food.
Amen."

2. One particular four-year-old prayed:

"And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

3. A teacher was drilling his young students on the Westminster Confession of Faith. The first question in the catechism is "What is the chief end of man?" The answer: "To glorify God and enjoy Him forever."

One youngster seemed quite sure of himself as he anxiously waved his hand for recognition.

When the teacher called his name, he proudly blurted out, "The chief end of man is to glorify God and annoy Him forever!"

He was possibly more right than we'd care to admit!
Offline FredSnell  
#33 Posted : Wednesday, November 9, 2011 2:03:35 AM(UTC)
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lol...When the teacher called his name, he proudly blurted out, "The chief end of man is to glorify God and annoy Him forever!"

Did that kid nail it!....Welcome to heaven, everyone. Sorry to the few that found the path, but you didn't annoy God enough.
Offline Richard  
#34 Posted : Wednesday, November 9, 2011 2:55:26 AM(UTC)
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cgb2 wrote:
"A teacher was drilling his young students ..."


Must have been a Catholic teacher, huh.
Offline Daniel  
#35 Posted : Wednesday, November 9, 2011 4:22:21 AM(UTC)
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flintface wrote:
Must have been a Catholic teacher, huh.



Har, har, har.

(A catholic teacher wouldn't be 'drilling' the students on the Westminster Confession of Faith !)
Nehemiah wrote:
"We carried our weapons with us at all times, even when we went for water" Nehemiah 4:23b

We would do well to follow Nehemiah's example! http://OurSafeHome.net
Offline cgb2  
#36 Posted : Thursday, November 10, 2011 3:30:32 AM(UTC)
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Offline FredSnell  
#37 Posted : Thursday, November 10, 2011 4:32:10 AM(UTC)
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cgb2 wrote:


pretty good...grand idea here, let's from the very beginning start lying to our children. let satans claws grab hold and judge them. the poor ones when they awake, are judged naughty b/c their parents are without and he has a list of every child, that their own parents lie to them about. i feel sorrier for the wealthy ones actually, they get to parade their gifts in front of the naughty ones. really, are we that much different from those, "wild asses?"

Edited by moderator Friday, November 11, 2011 3:01:14 AM(UTC)  | Reason: fixed quotes

Offline cgb2  
#38 Posted : Thursday, November 10, 2011 7:42:16 AM(UTC)
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encounterHim wrote:
pretty good...grand idea here, let's from the very beginning start lying to our children. let satans claws grab hold and judge them. the poor ones when they awake, are judged naughty b/c their parents are without and he has a list of every child, that their own parents lie to them about. i feel sorrier for the wealthy ones actually, they get to parade their gifts in front of the naughty ones. really, are we that much different from those, "wild asses?"


Don't forget to teach the kiddos to leave the food & drink offering to this red-suited god in the Mitras cap either. Milk & cookies anyone?
Offline cgb2  
#39 Posted : Thursday, November 10, 2011 7:47:42 AM(UTC)
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http://upload.wikimedia....0px-MithraReliefvert.jpg

Look its a guy in a santa claus hat, and the statue of liberty in the upper left (Apollo)
Offline FredSnell  
#40 Posted : Thursday, November 10, 2011 8:41:51 AM(UTC)
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cgb2 wrote:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/19/MithraReliefvert.jpg/320px-MithraReliefvert.jpg

Look its a guy in a santa claus hat, and the statue of liberty in the upper left (Apollo)



I'd like to take my .22 plinker and shoot those little hats right off their heads, but since that can't be, maybe someone could barf on it to add a little(green and red)color to it.
Offline Cecille  
#41 Posted : Sunday, November 20, 2011 11:42:49 PM(UTC)
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A little Christian humor for a change

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly, God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They mouse.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports.

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said,

"JESUS SAVES."
Offline FredSnell  
#42 Posted : Monday, November 21, 2011 2:21:15 AM(UTC)
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YashaYahu/Isaiah
44:23 Sing, O ye heavens; for YHWH hath done it: shout, ye lower parts of the earth: break forth into singing, ye mountains, O forest, and every tree therein: for YHWH hath redeemed Jacob, and glorified himself in Israel.

44:24 Thus saith YHWH, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I am YHWH that maketh all things; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself;

Offline cgb2  
#43 Posted : Saturday, December 24, 2011 4:24:46 AM(UTC)
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Offline FredSnell  
#44 Posted : Sunday, December 25, 2011 2:34:08 AM(UTC)
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cgb2 wrote:



The Bills must have been Tebowing also!
Offline Richard  
#45 Posted : Thursday, December 29, 2011 1:09:40 AM(UTC)
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Let me see if I've got this logic down here. "I know the 'Good Lord' loves me and has just proven it by enabling me to be absolutely stunning on the football field. Therefore, I shall thank Him and honor Him by kneeling down in front of all these fans and those watching me on their televisions, hanging my head, and squeezing my eyes shut while murmuring something for a few milliseconds. Everyone will then see and realize how utterly humble and appropriately grateful I am, and their opinion of me will be be that I am a wonderful Christian and that God really knew what He was doing when He decided to let ME become one of His kids. He doesn't want me to stand up and look Him in the eye, but I know He loves me all the same."

Yeah, I get it. Makes perfect sense.

Daddy? Can I come home now? I can't hardly stand this mess anymore ...
Offline James  
#46 Posted : Thursday, December 29, 2011 7:45:39 AM(UTC)
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Sounds to me like someone needs to send Mr. Tebow a copy of Matthew 6:5-8
Don't take my word for it, Look it up.

“The truth is not for all men but only for those who seek it.” ― Ayn Rand
Offline FredSnell  
#47 Posted : Friday, December 30, 2011 2:44:34 AM(UTC)
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flintface wrote:
Let me see if I've got this logic down here. "I know the 'Good Lord' loves me and has just proven it by enabling me to be absolutely stunning on the football field. Therefore, I shall thank Him and honor Him by kneeling down in front of all these fans and those watching me on their televisions, hanging my head, and squeezing my eyes shut while murmuring something for a few milliseconds. Everyone will then see and realize how utterly humble and appropriately grateful I am, and their opinion of me will be be that I am a wonderful Christian and that God really knew what He was doing when He decided to let ME become one of His kids. He doesn't want me to stand up and look Him in the eye, but I know He loves me all the same."

Yeah, I get it. Makes perfect sense.

Daddy? Can I come home now? I can't hardly stand this mess anymore ...


I can't wait until a muslim joins the NFL, we then will see prayer rugs on the sidelines...Then we will know who's greater, Allah, or Lord?...but wouldn't that actually pit him, against himself?...football, so confusing!
Offline cgb2  
#48 Posted : Wednesday, January 11, 2012 3:07:16 AM(UTC)
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This morning the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United States that if the United States continued meddling
In Egypt , Libya , and other potential hot spots in the middle east, they intend to cut off America 's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T and AOL customer service reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more presidents either.

It's gonna get ugly, people.
Offline James  
#49 Posted : Wednesday, January 11, 2012 3:19:46 AM(UTC)
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What do you get when the blind lead the blind? Christianity
http://religion.blogs.cn...on-earths-age/?hpt=hp_t3
Don't take my word for it, Look it up.

“The truth is not for all men but only for those who seek it.” ― Ayn Rand
Offline Richard  
#50 Posted : Friday, January 13, 2012 4:39:15 PM(UTC)
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cgb2 wrote:
This morning the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United States that if the United States continued meddling
In Egypt , Libya , and other potential hot spots in the middle east, they intend to cut off America 's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T and AOL customer service reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more presidents either.

It's gonna get ugly, people.


You just made my whole day. Thanks!
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