Joined: 11/30/2009(UTC) Posts: 196 Location: Gettysburg, PA
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Can we still laugh?I grew up in a large family (10 kids) and we all now have families. In families, we love one another, hurt one another, laugh and cry with one another, and in my family – with so many of us, we drove our mother crazy! This came through an email from my husband’s colleague and is a gift of a gut laugh for any of you who have a pulse and love family!! Quote:WHEN TO START CUSSING A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with "hell" and you say something with "ass". The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast. He replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios." WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom shut him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
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Joined: 1/29/2011(UTC) Posts: 874 Location: Houston, Texas
Thanks: 14 times Was thanked: 3 time(s) in 3 post(s)
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Good joke dh.
I'm not trying to po anyone, but I believe the age old myth of, "it takes a woman to raise children" has been debunked in all societies. Men can and do a better job at child rearing than a lot of women do. They are more balanced in my opinion when at the helm. That's not saying a womans gentler side is of course more appreciated by a child. Women are more easily swayed with a child's emotions in my opinion, but that's to be expected. After all they did the heavy work. But men can and often do raise a more complete child, girl or boy. By complete, I mean, just maybe a tad tougher than when good old mom is always there. If we are in our Fathers image, then it makes more sense to me. Men have two chromosomes. One is our boy side, (y) and the other, our little girly side, (x). And really, doesn't' it make sense, at least to me it does, that a man can almost fight anyone for what he believes is true. While a woman might put up an argument, but retreats upon conflict, and should. Again proving, women can't do everything men can. I know that probably sounds common to some, but I see men doing everything women can do (x-cept), but not the visa versa, unless you believe the media and films. So gentlemen...we should do our duty!
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Joined: 10/23/2007(UTC) Posts: 2,616 Location: Texas Thanks: 5 times Was thanked: 216 time(s) in 149 post(s)
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encounterHim wrote:Good joke dh.
I'm not trying to po anyone, but I believe the age old myth of, "it takes a woman to raise children" has been debunked in all societies. Men can and do a better job at child rearing than a lot of women do. They are more balanced in my opinion when at the helm. That's not saying a womans gentler side is of course more appreciated by a child. Women are more easily swayed with a child's emotions in my opinion, but that's to be expected. After all they did the heavy work. But men can and often do raise a more complete child, girl or boy. By complete, I mean, just maybe a tad tougher than when good old mom is always there. If we are in our Fathers image, then it makes more sense to me. Men have two chromosomes. One is our boy side, (y) and the other, our little girly side, (x). And really, doesn't' it make sense, at least to me it does, that a man can almost fight anyone for what he believes is true. While a woman might put up an argument, but retreats upon conflict, and should. Again proving, women can't do everything men can. I know that probably sounds common to some, but I see men doing everything women can do (x-cept), but not the visa versa, unless you believe the media and films. So gentlemen...we should do our duty! I think Yah had the family model just right. It best to have both a man and a women to raise a kid. |
Don't take my word for it, Look it up.
“The truth is not for all men but only for those who seek it.” ― Ayn Rand |
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Joined: 1/29/2011(UTC) Posts: 874 Location: Houston, Texas
Thanks: 14 times Was thanked: 3 time(s) in 3 post(s)
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"I think Yah had the family model just right. It best to have both a man and a women to raise a kid."...agree.... but, men should be involved from the onset, not just the beginning. We have far too many women raising kids alone and that in itself is a testament of what our society has become (smut list). I wish I'd had my two sons and daughter raised in Torah from the beginning, but that's life. Now they are all in their 20's and have other interest. Some come late to the Word, like me, or to a more understanding I should say. Will I ever get it just right, man I sure pray I will, but walking on water will be tough...Kepha proved that...lol.
Time for another joke: Man sitting at home on the verandah with his wife and he says, "I love you."
She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"
He replies, "It's me.... talking to the beer."
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Joined: 10/23/2007(UTC) Posts: 2,616 Location: Texas Thanks: 5 times Was thanked: 216 time(s) in 149 post(s)
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Since this is topiced LAUGHTER I'll share this here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoBYYElyP4c |
Don't take my word for it, Look it up.
“The truth is not for all men but only for those who seek it.” ― Ayn Rand |
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Joined: 10/24/2010(UTC) Posts: 694 Location: Florida
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encounterHim wrote:We have far too many women raising kids alone and that in itself is a testament of what our society has become Brad Pitt's character said in the movie "Fight Club": "We are a generation of men who have been raised by women." Ouch! Let's all repeat the first rule of Fight Club, now! |
Nehemiah wrote:"We carried our weapons with us at all times, even when we went for water" Nehemiah 4:23b |
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Joined: 1/29/2011(UTC) Posts: 874 Location: Houston, Texas
Thanks: 14 times Was thanked: 3 time(s) in 3 post(s)
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"We have far too many women raising kids alone and that in itself is a testament of what our society has become"...and of course, right on time! From drudgereport,...http://www.wjhg.com/home/headlines/Video_shows_spring_break_brawl_at_PCB_Burger_King_118505599.html
"Let's all repeat the first rule of Fight Club, now!"...lets don't!...lol.
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Joined: 10/24/2010(UTC) Posts: 694 Location: Florida
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encounterHim wrote:"Let's all repeat the first rule of Fight Club, now!"...lets don't!...lol. You just did! (Repeat, or should I say 'observe', the first rule of Fight Club.) ;-) |
Nehemiah wrote:"We carried our weapons with us at all times, even when we went for water" Nehemiah 4:23b |
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Joined: 1/29/2011(UTC) Posts: 874 Location: Houston, Texas
Thanks: 14 times Was thanked: 3 time(s) in 3 post(s)
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Joke: THE IRISH PROSTITUTE
An Irish daughter had not been home for over a year. Upon her return, her Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?' The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...' 'Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.' 'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club......................... (takes a breath)............. and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... .' 'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad. Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff.....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.' 'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.
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Joined: 1/11/2010(UTC) Posts: 30 Location: Texas
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Dans Helper,
lol that is funny. I work at a daycare and the things that come out of children's mouths is quite funny. Children's logic you know. I also grew up in a very close family. My parents and five girls. Cussing was definitely not tolerated.
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Joined: 3/13/2008(UTC) Posts: 212 Location: Southern Wisconsin Was thanked: 1 time(s) in 1 post(s)
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A husband got in big trouble after his wedding anniversary. His wife told him the day before: "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat." The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
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Joined: 1/19/2010(UTC) Posts: 695 Thanks: 4 times Was thanked: 8 time(s) in 7 post(s)
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Two Muslim young men boarded a passenger jet. One sat by the window, the other in the middle seat next to him. Presently, a U.S. Marine in his summer khakis sat down in the aisle seat, kicked off his shoes and settled in for the long flight across the Atlantic to the United States.
Shortly after takeoff, one of the Muslims said to the Marine, "Excuse me. I need to get up. I'm going to get a Coke from the stewardess."
"Don't bother!" exclaimed the Marine. "I'll be happy to get it for you!" And he got up and walked up the aisle to speak with one of the stewardesses or stewards.
As soon as the Marine was gone, the Muslim picked up one of the military man's shoes and spat a huge glob of phlegm into it. His fellow terrorist smiled and nodded.
When the Marine returned with the man's soda pop and handed it to him, the other Muslim asked if he too might have one. So the Marine smiled and headed back up the aisle. While he was gone, the second Muslim picked up the Marine's other shoe and deposited an even larger quantity of nastiness into it. The two terrorists could hardly contain their laughter between themselves.
The Marine returned with the second terrorist's Coca-Cola, which he handed to the man with a smile and a wink. Then he sat down and went to sleep.
When the plane landed, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had been done. He turned to the Muslims and, fixing them with his eyes, asked, "How long, gentlemen? How long must it go on being like this between us? This spitting in the shoes and peeing in the Cokes?" |
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