Robskiwarrior wrote:This is a complicated issue for many reasons. The world is a bent place - kids want to grow up too fast and parents making them doesn't help, I mean the media and toys do enough for them lol. If it was me I think I would have been with you on that one, I would have not agree'ed that my daughter wore make up on stage... thankfully both my daughters were far to scared to get on stage like that.
Anyway - I think the real issue is the damage it causes. The act of putting make up on is merely, well, an act... kids are kids - and in the context of a show, well at least it was just a dance troop.
I think the real issues lie with what your daughter takes from it, and how she is influenced. I think in my case as long as my daughters understand my feelings and why (yea it's hard to talk to a 4yr old like that - mine are 8 and 6) it does a heck of a lot more good than the other front they see. If you look from your kids eyes, and her innocence, she's seen a day that she was looking for her parents to be proud of her - to see their smiling faces and hear their praise afterwards, to find that confirmation and to build those memories.
Now I don't know what when on other than what you wrote but I would be more worried about all her practice and the big day being destroyed by her "stupid parents" who just "don't understand her anyway" and "only care about themselves..." Kids don't see the why's and what's, and even if they do they feel like it's not fair instantly, especially at 4... lol - and if all they see is 2 pissed off parents upset over a day that was special to her I think that does more damage than any amount of make up.
So although I agree the make up is something that needs to be looked at - I think it needs to be weighed against the other issues that can suddenly become lost within the one focuses on. I suppose the real question is why was she unhappy in the pic? Because your wife put on the make up to take the pic? or because the unfolding events she really didn't understand... personally, from my POV, I would put the make up in second place...
And for the record - I am not by far the best father in the world, my fuse is far too short and I don't explain myself enough to my kids who normally see me loose it.
Sorry if that was harsh in anyway - I don't have all the facts, I was just trying to bring another perspective, please tell me to jog on if required. :)
Robski,
1. Thank you for chiming in Robski on a very difficult subject/issue. I knew I could count on someone if not many to speak as they are guided. You understand the situation I have placed my self in and for that what you have to say is very important in me. I also know that you love YHWH with all of your heart, mind, and soul; which also makes what you have to say valuable. Your right, this world is a ‘bent’ place.
2. I definitely agree with you , that is the major issue (what she takes from it); crossed that with the world today and the influence from media, other kids, teachers, family; all pointing to the way opposite the one the leads to our heavenly father; I would argue it is even more important to stand for what is right! I believe as parents we need to show our kids where we stand on these issues, in word and action. Thankfully YHWH has given me the ability to speak to my children, and 97% of the time I am not losing my temper with my kids. During this whole ‘confrontation’ I did not lose my temper, holler, or even show anger in addressing it. However, my daughter; both of them, and even my son were able to see where I stood and hear why I stood there, even if they do not understand completely. When they are older and they have to make a decision to follow YHWH or not like the rest of us they will look back and see that daddy was uncompromising; that he was able to love, cherish, communicate, value our hobbies but when it came to following the world or following YHWH, well; let’s say I work everyday by his power to be sure my kids see the line drawn in the sand. Let me say that we need not put the worries of whether kids feel things are fair in rivalry with the word. As a matter of fact that may be a golden opportunity to sit and speak to them and help them to understand the unfairness of life. I praise YHWH that my kids did not see a ‘pissed’ off me; I would agree with you this would not be good. As it is written, be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of Elohim. She still participated in the show, had fun, was smiling (except in the picture), got to sit in daddy’s lap the rest of the show while we watched and I was able to tell her how wonderful she did and more importantly I was able to tell her how we will praise YHWH for giving her the opportunity to perform, keeping her injury free; it was a wonderful opportunity for him to be esteemed.
I truly believe was unhappy because my wife had put the make up on and to me that is a good thing!
3. I have to disagree with you on this point in the context of how the situation was dealt. I believe it was a wonderful victory for our Elohim. She enjoyed the whole show, and she even told my wife that she did not want the make up on. She also told her that make up is not important. She says that YHWH is important. I will have to continue to stand in these issues brother, so my daughter understands not to love the things of this world. Kids need us to tell them and demonstrate truth. They respect that more than we know and I believe YHWH is fighting for me, who shall I be afraid of.
4. I am sure you are a wonderful dad. You have a great father who you follow. We all have our ‘thorns’? I praise my heavenly father for my thorn. It is because of her my relationship by his grace is where it is now.
5. Please, do not jog on Robski. I truly value what you have to say. I know I have been really absent in the last two years in regards to posting much as I was battling my thorn daily, trudging through school, raising kids; but I always remember that when I did post you would always reply to me and you would always at least appear to be happy to hear from me. Things like that mean something to me my brother.
In my family robski (talking of my brothers/sisters/mom) we have a thing that if we ask for each others opinion on something we know that what is said will be said regardless of what you may want to hear. We are brutally honest. I thank you for your candor.
We also must take into account the gravity of my situation. I may be in a situation that just can’t afford me to be very compromising.(and you are relatively aware of the situation) And I tell you what; YHWH knows how to pick em!!