Don't know if you intended on responses or not, but I'll have a shot.

I'm just getting my feet wet with all the new information in YY, but I'm pretty sure I've had a relationship (or at least the beginnings of one) with Yahuweh for most of my life. He's always felt close when I've needed Him and He's gotten me through some very difficult times. I've often thought similar things, especially after finding this site. I'll throw out my thoughts to see what others think (probably going to come off pretty disorganized, so I apologize in advance).

I often think about our relationships to Yahuweh through the context of His metaphors (mostly marriage and children; familial relationships, in other words). He gave us these metaphors for what He expects in our relationship with Him because He knew that however screwed up we could get, we have a pretty good concept (at least most of us) of what a properly functioning family is supposed to look like.

For example, place Yahuweh as a father (I know, difficult to imagine, but bear with me :). He adores us and loves to watch us grow and learn. He wants nothing more than to pick us up in His arms and give us a big squeeze. There are lots of things I could do for my kids that would get it done (homework, housework, etc), but they wouldn't learn anything in the process and they wouldn't develop into decently functioning adults (plenty of the other kind around anyways).

My 6 year old adopted daughter has a very sad past. Without going into the full story, she had severe brain trauma, was in 8 foster homes by the age of 11 months (one of which was abusive and neglected to treat a broken arm for almost 2 months), was thought to never walk, talk, potty train, or do any other of the normal things kids do. Today, she is in Kindergarten. She's walking and talking (and potty trained), she's ice skating, swimming, can write her name, and is slowly starting to learn how to read. If we just accepted her medical condition (and emotional problems from the early abuse and neglect), she wouldn't be doing any of these things. The struggles she has has forced her to succeed where everyone else thought she would fail.

I think that besides the whole "free will" thing (and that's a big thing, don't get me wrong), Yahuweh wants our journey to be difficult, probably the hardest thing we'll ever do. It is through that struggle that we come closer to Him than we ever could if this stuff was just spoon-fed to us.

He knew all of that was going to happen and I'm sure it broke His heart. And continues to break His heart, since He's always experiencing the past, present, and future. He would have loved to come down, scoop us all up, and hold us close to Him. But, there are many that would squirm as hard as they could to get out of that hug (I know what that's like; there's plenty of kids in foster care that can't stand to be touched). They don't know Him and don't trust Him.

He could have done something to prevent all of that, but then free-will would have been a farce (whether we knew it or not) and all His work for true, unforced, uncorrupted love would have been a farce as well. He had to restrain Himself until He knew all was lost (and that is coming, in about 16 years, if I'm not mistaken); until He knew that everyone left would either run the other way when He came, or come running up to Him like a child.

I've never been of the mind to think that Yahuweh requires doctrinal purity. No two of us will ever agree on everything. My brother and I have two similar, but probably different opinions of our earthly father. There is one of him, and one single reality of his being, but we each see different aspects of it. Same goes with Yahuweh. I'm sure He wants each of us to know Him entirely, but in our fallen state, I doubt that's possible. I don't like thinking of it as a threshold of understanding that we need to cross to "earn" salvation. He asks us to trust and rely upon Him and nothing else. The best I can do right now, since I don't have all the answers, is to pray that He guides me where He will and that in guiding me, He leads me closer to Him. Since finding this site, I've never felt closer to my Father, so I know I'm in the right place.

So much to learn and so little time to do it.

As for our differences, time will tell. We're all from different backgrounds, in different locations, and at different points along His way. It's almost certain we'll have differences of opinions about His Word. I'm sure the disciples had differences of opinions at times and they walked and talked directly with Yahushua. Some of us may be standing directly on the road, some just to the side, and others barely within sight of it, but we're all following His path. That path will surely narrow the closer we get to Him, and some of us may lose sight of the way altogether (we'll have to call out to eachother to find our way back). We've (or rather I've, since most of you have been here for much longer than I) just begun to scratch the surface of what Yahuweh has revealed.

Since it seems to be the most contentious thing around lately: the issue with Paul is near and dear to many of us. I understand Yada's thinking in being so callous in tossing him aside; he's found Paul to be unreliable. He's turning away from a man that is openly contradicting Yahuweh and, therefore, turning back to God. It still doesn't make it any more comfortable for the rest of us, as detached from religion as we like to think, to so quickly go to the same point. Personally, until I have had the time to sort through all of YY and TOM, I've got to force myself to withhold judgement on Paul; the little I've read and listened to sounds pretty damning, but I want to see all of it and try to dig up any possible defense. Debate can be frustrating at times, but it also forces us (if we maintain an open mind) to sort out the truth, whatever it may be.

Hopefully that rambling helps someone. All I got for now. Good night and Yah bless!
Matt

I agree with all the sentiments expressed. Somehow too though, the more I struggle to find Him, the more I sense His worthiness to be struggled for. I get sick and tired of the process, my hands get raw from clawing and digging to uncover the treasure that He is, but there is no more worthy pursuit - anything else is senseless. Thanks for posting Walt - we fellowship in our struggle.

Some other thoughts about fellowship -

In some ways it seems to me that the way we relate through this forum is more "Yah-like" than traditional fellowship - and it has some superior benefits.

1. We know each other spiritually. We are forced to "see and hear" with our minds and hearts rather than our physical eyes and ears - as we read what each one writes. We perceive one another through what we reveal through our words. We don't know unless we reveal it, whether we're male or female, black or white, young or old, married or single, like Scotch or wine! Because we "see" one another this way, our relationships are more like our Father and our relationship with him. He is Spirit and reveals himself to us through His Word and His Spirit - we see him and relate to him through our minds and hearts.

2. The sin nature is subdued so the (renewed) love nature is freed up. My sin nature to lust, covet, envy, idolize, flatter or lie is greatly diminished by the fact that I cannot see with my physical eyes or touch with my hands or speak with my mouth! This, to me, is a tremendous blessing. One of my frequent groanings in prayer is to know (experiencially) the reverse of the haunting statement in Genesis 6:5 - "And Yahweh saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually." This way of relating to others gives me a slight glimpse of what that joyful, sinless reality will be like - when every inclinination of the thoughts of my heart will only bring Him joy, honor, praise and delight continually. With the sin nature subdued, I'm free to love and appreciate others more readily - rather than envy or be a people pleaser.

3. Yahweh is our Teacher. "They will all be taught be God." "... for you have one Teacher, the Messiah". As Ben reminded us in the Priorities thread, we cannot fully trust anyone. No one has a market on the truth except the Truth Himself. Least of all can I trust my own heart and understanding. "He that trusts in his own heart is a fool". The lack of physical fellowship forces us to allow Yahweh to be our Teacher. "My lips will pour forth praise, for You teach me your statutes." Psalm 119:171

I'm sure you all can think of other benefits - HalleluYah!

THANK YOU ALL

Some good words given here

We are not alone in this for sure - just distanced, apart and isolated to varying degrees


Maybe more focus on what (of Scripture) is true, reliable and trustworthy and less on the whos



Actully Robskiwarrior, this is my position also,
I haven't listen to or read any of the QP going on so the details/opinions of the non-trustworthiness of Paul's writings hasn't been an issue

Just the variants of the NT writings is reason enough for me not to trust or rely on them
I will only look at the pre-Constantine manuscripts

To me the importance of those writings is to see that Yahushua fulfilled what was written
With this understanding, Torah/Prophets/Psalms is enough to KNOW Yahuweh - to bring in the NT writings into the equation just muddles things up

The Torah/Prophets/Psalms was sufficient enough for the early followers of MessiYah, it's still sufficient for us now - just have to weed out the coruptions

Good to hear Walt.

I have also come to a lot of clarity over the last few weeks, it is a wonderful feeling. I now find myself in eager anticipation of the upcoming feasts, not just the 'OK what am I supposed to do' of previous years.

The bedrock of this clarity is of course the WORD, and Yada and KP certainly have had a lot to do with my understanding of it.

But my strained marriage has also proved to be a point of clarification. Without a relationship with my wife, the things she does for me have meant nothing, I want the relationship not the works; I want the walls blocking me from knowing her heart to be knocked down, until then it means nothing if she tries to favor me. A couple of weeks ago it dawned on me that it is the same with Father Yah, He wants the relationship and without it the works mean nothing to Him.

In a desperate attempt to salvage the marriage, we attended a Christian marriage seminar. I was, quite frankly, pleasantly surprised at their use of Scripture, but beyond that the Christianity was very hard to take. They were accommodating to me not participating in some of the activities, but a lot of the talk and symbolism was obscene to my ears.

At some point all of this came together. Despite the fine interpretation and commentary by Yada and KP, I thought religion was just broken and if only we could fix the names and the celebrations, etc, all would be well. But religion is the problem not the symptom. Religion has the same basic 'gospel' that the torah does; they talk of relationship and walking with the L---. But religion is a wall blocking the relationship with YHWH.

YHWH wants our hearts(relationship), He wants us to walk with Him(honor is Way, keep His law, keep his Feasts!)

YHWH says keep the names of other gods off our lips; yet much of the common terminology christians use is just that; Jesus, Bible, Church, etc. - Exodus 23:13
YHWH warns us not to take up the ways of the pagan. - Leviticus 18:1-3
YHWH talks of the day when he is no longer called baal/lord -Hosea 2:16

I can be a little slow sometimes, this was perhaps one of those times. Or maybe it just takes time to clean out all of the crap before you can see the solid ground underneath. Either way I ditto Walt's sentiment, THANK YOU ALL!